Madisyn Baldwin's mom to Oxford shooter: ‘The suffering will come when he least expects it’

PONTIAC, Mich. (FOX 2) - On Friday, the sentencing phase for the Oxford High School shooter started as family members and victims of the horrific shooting on Nov. 30, 2021, finally get a chance to address the court about how the shooter's acts will forever impact them.

Before the shooter is sentenced, the family members get a chance to speak, the first of which was Nicole Beausoleil, the mother of Madisyn Baldwin.

Beausoleil told the court that she refuses to let her daughter be remembered as a victim. Instead, she should be remembered for her spirit. 

"She is an old soul, wiser beyond her years. At only 17, she has taught me more than I could ever thank her for having her young myself. She made me the mother I am today. She gave me the courage to be stronger," Beausoleil said.

WATCH: Oxford High School shooter sentenced on Friday

She described the day she found out her daughter's life was ripped away. The moment she learned that her entire life would be changed.

"November 30th, 2021, is a day that has forever changed my life. It burns into my body like a cigarette burn. Enough to scar, but always a constant reminder. The day I found out that my daughter's life was taken, a life that was still so young and full of life," she said.

Despite that, Beausoleil said she refuses to let her daughter become a statistic. 

"How could my daughter be summarized in such an intrusive manner? How could these now be her associations? I would like you to know that these accusations are false. I will not allow her name to be followed by the phrase Oxford shooting victim. She will be remembered by her name, a name that is loved unconditionally, one that has no hidden remark," Beausoleil said.

On Nov. 30, 2021, Beausoleil said her daughter's life was already taken by the time she had been alerted that something was going on at Oxford High School. When she arrived at the Meijer store nearby, she and other family members were stuck waiting for word.

When she was called forward, Beausoleil said she could not believe what was happening to her.

"Next thing I hear, can the family of Madison Baldwin follow me? As I walked into the room, I felt this chill come across my body, so cold that I felt it in my bones. I pleaded not to go in, but following commands, the words we heard were, 'I don't have good news on these three children.' They are deceased. The sheer blunt statement could destroy you to the core. I was completely paralyzed. I felt every scream that came from my body. I felt every breath I took was fading. My mind was in a state of dementia, and then my body dropped to the floor. We were literally suffocating, suffocating together in disbelief, replaying those words in my head. Within seconds, I thought, did I hear them right? I was definitely misinformed. The sobs came from a deep part in me; tears soaked the cold floor I laid on. I managed a few calls, but conversations I've blocked out. Leaving for the substation, I stared out the window looking for her, but replaying those words in my head. My mind and heart were literally in two different places."

The next day, Beausoleil said she saw Madisyn's body at the medical examiner's office. 

"I remember her hand laying out from underneath the sheet and her fingernails were blue, blood smeared in her hair, and they made sure I saw her from a side that was more acceptable for a grieving mother. That was not my daughter. Madisyn was far from lifeless. As I banged on the door demanding to touch her, I lost my ability to stand. I was dragged away from her. I was not allowed to touch my own daughter. I was not allowed to hold her hand and just let her know I was there. It's a feeling that no parent should ever feel, but that's my baby," Beausoleil said.

Now, two years later, Beausoleil has a message for the shooter: She will never say his name and he will be forgotten and thrown away.

" To the waste that took my daughter's life. That name will never come out of my mouth. That life will cease to exist to me and just like trash, it will be forgotten. So while the attention that he has been seeking for this horrendous crime, you will get no reaction from me. But again, this is the life he chose. If he really wanted to make a different outcome, he wouldn't continue to make the excuses he does now. The suffering will come when he least expects it," Beausoleil said. "The regret will consume you as you sit alone with only the voices in your head. Guilt will eat away at your soul. This might not happen tomorrow, next year, or ten years, but it will happen as you get older. 

"You'll realize the path you've chosen and it will haunt you. Just like the idol that you admire so much. Both of you forgotten in the system. And when these emotions flood into your body like you're bleeding out, no one will be there to save you. No one will forgive you. Your hand will no longer be held. As you claim insanity, your outbursts for attention will go unnoticed. No one will love you and no one will come, as I don't wish death upon you. That would be too easy. I hope the thoughts consume you and they replay over and over in your head. 'The thoughts won't stop.' I'm sure you heard that paraphrase before. I hope the screams keep you up at night and they cause real hallucinations. You won't be able to write it on paper for the attention that you so badly seek. Those four walls become your home, suffocating in guilt. It will come, I promise you. I'm happy you decided not to be a coward that day and take your own life. I'd much rather you stick around to see what the life you have chosen for, what suffering really feels like, and that your significance is not above anyone else. I truly feel sorry for you that you thought this would be a better life choice."